Having to deal with an ex after divorce isn’t always easy, but it’s likely necessary if you share children with each other. The most effective co-parenting communication is calm and focused on the children.
Determining how to make the situation work for you is important because children can thrive when their parents act either as a team or as effective pseudo business partners. Consider the following tips to help you find ways to communicate with your ex more effectively.
Set clear boundaries and expectations
Effective communication begins with setting clear boundaries and expectations. You and your ex should agree on the primary means of communication, such as phone calls, texts or emails. You should establish acceptable response times. Additionally, it’s important to distinguish between urgent matters that require immediate attention and routine updates that can wait. By setting these guidelines, co-parents can avoid frustration and ensure that these interactions remain respectful and productive.
Practice active listening
Active listening is a crucial skill if you’re trying to improve their communication. This involves fully concentrating on what the other parent is saying, understanding the message, responding appropriately and remembering the information. By practicing active listening, you and your ex can show respect for each other’s perspectives, build trust and foster a more cooperative co-parenting relationship.
Keep the focus on the children
One of the most effective ways to improve communication is to keep the focus on the children’s well-being. Discussions should center around the needs, health, education and happiness of the children. Avoid bringing up personal grievances that have to do with the past.
Seek mediation or counseling if necessary
Sometimes, despite the best efforts of co-parents, communication may remain strained. In these cases, seeking the help of a professional mediator can be beneficial. These professionals can facilitate discussions, help resolve disputes and offer strategies for improving communication. Even a few sessions can make a significant difference in how co-parents interact and collaborate.
It may also help for you to have a solid co-parenting plan in place. This should outline the terms that will be followed, as well as your schedule for parenting time. Working with a legal representative who can assist with this may help you to better ensure that all relevant concerns are addressed in the agreement.