If there’s one detail you should know about family law cases, it’s often challenging for spouses or co-parents to reach agreements in such matters. This is often what brings these parties to see a mediator.
Often, parties have tried and failed to amicably resolve their differences. They need someone to help guide them toward a resolution. These parties are often on the brink of having a judge step in and make decisions with which they ultimately might not feel comfortable.
Mediation can help move conversations about child or spousal support, property division or custody along.
It’s never ideal to discuss the past
Mediation is often an effective approach for helping spouses or co-parents who are at odds to highlight their preferences, have time to discuss grievances and see if they can reach a compromise. Mediators aren’t there to tell spouses or parents what to do. Instead, they allow each party to voice their concerns and challenge them to find common ground.
If mediators were to highlight one factor that will cause negotiations to be unsuccessful, they’d point to parties focusing too much on the past. Generally, nothing good can come from spouses or co-parents doing this.
In the case of child custody negotiations, the only time in which a discussion of the past is warranted is if one of you has concerns about your child’s health or safety while in the other parent’s care. If you’re concerned that your ex’s unclean house, for example, may endanger the health of your child, then you should bring that up during mediation. The same logic applies if your ex has a past history of inflicting violence on you or your child.
Provided there aren’t any factors that may impact your child’s safety or health, you should focus solely on the here and now in custody mediation. By doing this, you’ll give yourself a better chance of achieving an out-of-court settlement, which you and your ex are more likely to stick to instead of constantly having to file modifications.